![]() ![]() Are There Alternatives if Your Child Can’t or Won’t Talk About Their Feelings? We can then choose how to deal with them in rational and constructive ways whereas previously they felt overwhelming or impossible to understand. Defined our feelings in words makes them more concrete. Talking about feelings allows us to gain a sense of emotional competence. This gives us a clearer picture of what’s going on in our heads. Putting it into words allows us to give labels to different feelings. When we have negative emotions or complex emotions, talking is a good way to unravel the complexity. Talking about your feelings is good for you. Is Talking About Your Feelings Good For You? Sharing the emotion with others to help them understand our point of view.For example, creating a piece of art work. Expressing the emotion creatively to help process and understand it.Sitting with the emotion and waiting for it to pass.What is the best response in these circumstances? What will get the desired outcome? Instead of verbal aggression, temper tantrums, withdrawal or sulking, it might be: It we don’t, we can’t.Īnother element of emotional intelligence is knowing what to do about the emotion. If we know we are anxious, we can use strategies to manage it in the best way. So having insight into our own emotions matters. For example, we can consciously change our body language, or give a different verbal response. If we know that negative feelings make us act in a certain way which we don’t like, we can spot that pattern and do something about it the next time it happens. If we don’t know how something makes us feel, we may make repeated mistakes by doing things that do not make us feel good, or are bad for our mental health. Understanding our own emotional state is part of emotional intelligence. What is Emotional Intelligence?Įmotional intelligence is the ability to understand and respond to emotions and emotional cues in ourselves and others. In other words, they lack emotional intelligence. They may even see expressing emotions as a sign of weakness. You may know people who are very intelligent in the traditional sense of the word but they are not skilled in understanding or expressing emotions. They may be able to recognise a happy face, angry or sad faces.īut what do these emotions actually feel like inside? And what has led to these feelings? Feelings may simply not be part of their vocabulary. It’s not uncommon even for older teenagers not to be clear on what “happy” or “sad” or “angry” actually feels like. Your child won’t be able to talk about emotions in healthy ways if they can’t recognise them in the first place.
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